As 2011 comes to a quiet close, I find myself obligated to reflect upon the year, review the goals that I set in attempt to be more like the person that I think Christ would like me to be. (Review Here)
I have been hesitant to review, afraid to catalog all the places that I fell short. I have procrastinated thinking about 2012, in fear of the potential possibility of maybe failing. Just reading that makes me blush, I am so absurd. Maybe I shouldn't get out of bed, in case it's a bad day. Phhhht. Time for me to (wo)man up, wear my big girl panties and face myself. As I type this, I am reviewing (and discovering) my success and failure during the year for the first time...We are finding out together, friends!
Goal #1 - More diligent and frequent scripture study
Like I do in most aspects of my life, I over-complicated. I was always want a plan, a program, forms to fill out, a schedule. It's too complicated, and takes too much work so nothing happens. I felt torn, we are to read from the Book of Mormon every day, but I wanted to study the Relief Society lessons from Gospel Principles, read the Sunday School lessons in the New Testament, and study General Conference talks. So I tried to do it all, certain things on certain days. It never worked for more than a week or two, then I would try to reschedule, reprogram, replan, and try again...with never any lasting habits.
My real success was in General Conference. Both in April and October I told the kids I would NOT tolerate non-urgent talk or noise during talks, I told them they could color, listen, and play quietly by the tv, but I would NOT talk to them while people were talking. They could wait till songs. It took a little while for them to catch on, I had to give a quick Shh! and hold out my hand, indicating they had to stop, and give some angry eyes, but before long, they understood. I also printed enough of these for each talk during conference, and did nothing but fill them out during the talks. At the end of conference, I had heard every word, and it had penetrated my heart and mind, and I had notes for each talk to review and study with the Ensign when it came in the mail. I 3-hole-punched the notes, put then in a pocket-folder, with the Ensign in the pocket, and have found them to be an invaluable treasure.
Grade: A for effort, D for measurable success, A for Conference study
Goal #2 - To have more meaningful prayers
Again I like to overcomplicate. I started the year out great, but it didn't last long. This will have to be worked on again. I need to plan a way to simplify it (wink, wink)
Grade: B for effort, D for final outcome
Goal #3 - Be a better mom, and find more joy in my role
This is one that if you have been reading the blog, you have seen me working on. I feel like I accomplished something this year with my attitude. Do I love being a mom? NO. Do I find joy in knowing that being a mom is my divine calling and role? Yes. Do I love little children in general? NO. Do I accept that, and know that not everyone can love teens? Yup! Do I still have days where I want to kill everyone, or would like to run away and join the circus? YUP. But now I remember more often that EVERYONE does, no matter what their life is like. It doesn't mean I HATE being a mom, it just means I am having a bad day and would like to check out of life.
Grade: A-
Goal #4 Be more observant of others and their needs, serve more
I set this goal wanting to be more like a few people that I know that see or hear of someone who is sad, or busy, or lonely, and drop by a gift or their favorite treat, or dinner, or call to chat. I just didn't think of it the way others did, and that's what I wanted.
I spent the whole year thinking that I had gotten no where with this goal, until mid November, when I realized that I had spent the whole year serving my family. I worked to be a happier mom for Andrew & the kids, I spent the first half of the year studying scriptures with Mik, I spent the second half helping Amy prepare for the wedding. Much of the year was spent helping my immediate family, and my siblings. It wasn't what I had expected, but it was service. And in the last month I have found myself seeing opportunities that I wasn't aware of before. I have talked myself out of doing it, telling myself that "someone else has probably beaten me to it", but I am more aware, and will try to start acting. Really.
Grade: A
Goal #5 To attend the Temple more regularly
Since that was the wording of the goal, I'd say that I was successful. We didn't quite make it every month, but we did go at least once during the month, most months. We even were able to do a session in the St. George Temple. We found the best way to accomplish this goal was to set a standing date and time, with a standing babysitter. This will not be a goal next year, I feel it was well accomplished, and we will set our standing date, time, and sitter for the new year.
Grade: A
Goal #6 Lose weight
Ha.
Ha Ha.
But I think I found out why it has been such an issue for me for so long, and a trip to the Dr in a few weeks should confirm my suspicions. I think I have PCOS, which (among other nasty symptoms) is worse because of the extra weight, and which causes me to have extra weight...It's a vicious cycle. So weight loss with be on the docket again, but with a different approach and reason, or at least different motivation.
Grade: D for results, A for finally figuring out why, and maybe what can be done!
Goal #7 Blog Weekly
Well, I didn't completely fail. Definitely didn't do too good in the second half of the year. While I don't think it will be a goal again, I want to try to keep it up next year.
Grade: B.....Okay, maybe that's a little generous....
Goal #8 Finish first draft of a story
Yeah, didn't happen. In fact I discovered that I LOVE writing, and stories, but I like it best when I am storylating with Heather. I like being the writer's sounding board. Maybe someday one of my ideas will make it into a full story, but I think my bigger goal is to help Heather get there with hers!
Grade: D for results, A for self-discovery
Goal #9 Take at least one class of some sort
My real goal here was two-fold: I wanted some sort of personal growth, and I wanted to be forced out of the house without my children, on some sort of regular basis.
I had quite a few experiences this year that fit at least one of those criteria:
-In February I took a 5-week Organ class at church, which I have always wanted to do, and look forward to more opportunities to practice.
-In September I joined the Choralaires, a womens choir of about 50 voices that performs about 2 times a year, and practices 1-2 times a week from Jan to May, and Sept to Dec.
I had planned to quit, because it was often inconvenient with Andrew's schedule, and I felt like it was selfish to haul my kids so I could do it, plus it is a little pricey, and with the plan to get $150 dresses this next fall that is going to get worse... But I really think that it is a worthwhile interest and skill (you know, music), and one 2 hour practice doesn't seem like too much for Mommy's ONE thing. Plus my dad loves coming to hear Janna and I sing in the concert SOO much, he offered to sponsor us financially for whatever part we can't afford, and help with kiddocare when needed.
-In November I decided to make a birthday present for Heather that required skills I didn't have - a colored pencil drawing of Scotney Castle. I had NO idea what I was doing, so I made it up, and learned a lot. I think it turned out awesome, and am excited to keep practicing. (Hey Heather, will you snap a photo and send it to me?)
Grade: A+
Goal #10 Be more productive - less time wasting
Epic fail. Looking back all I remember is laziness, and time wasting. I overcomplicated, tried too hard to plan, and did nothing. This is definitely on the docket for a do-over this year. In simplified form. I hope.
Grade: D Simply because I did try...I made a lot of plans....
So...Final results? Not too bad. I learned a lot, grew a lot, and know more about my strengths and weaknesses. I know what I need to do this year, and I know a lot more about how to go about it. That makes it a success to me. Now I have the data required to make plans for 2012. In a few days I will report on that. :)
I have been hesitant to review, afraid to catalog all the places that I fell short. I have procrastinated thinking about 2012, in fear of the potential possibility of maybe failing. Just reading that makes me blush, I am so absurd. Maybe I shouldn't get out of bed, in case it's a bad day. Phhhht. Time for me to (wo)man up, wear my big girl panties and face myself. As I type this, I am reviewing (and discovering) my success and failure during the year for the first time...We are finding out together, friends!
Goal #1 - More diligent and frequent scripture study
Like I do in most aspects of my life, I over-complicated. I was always want a plan, a program, forms to fill out, a schedule. It's too complicated, and takes too much work so nothing happens. I felt torn, we are to read from the Book of Mormon every day, but I wanted to study the Relief Society lessons from Gospel Principles, read the Sunday School lessons in the New Testament, and study General Conference talks. So I tried to do it all, certain things on certain days. It never worked for more than a week or two, then I would try to reschedule, reprogram, replan, and try again...with never any lasting habits.
My real success was in General Conference. Both in April and October I told the kids I would NOT tolerate non-urgent talk or noise during talks, I told them they could color, listen, and play quietly by the tv, but I would NOT talk to them while people were talking. They could wait till songs. It took a little while for them to catch on, I had to give a quick Shh! and hold out my hand, indicating they had to stop, and give some angry eyes, but before long, they understood. I also printed enough of these for each talk during conference, and did nothing but fill them out during the talks. At the end of conference, I had heard every word, and it had penetrated my heart and mind, and I had notes for each talk to review and study with the Ensign when it came in the mail. I 3-hole-punched the notes, put then in a pocket-folder, with the Ensign in the pocket, and have found them to be an invaluable treasure.
Grade: A for effort, D for measurable success, A for Conference study
Goal #2 - To have more meaningful prayers
Again I like to overcomplicate. I started the year out great, but it didn't last long. This will have to be worked on again. I need to plan a way to simplify it (wink, wink)
Grade: B for effort, D for final outcome
Goal #3 - Be a better mom, and find more joy in my role
This is one that if you have been reading the blog, you have seen me working on. I feel like I accomplished something this year with my attitude. Do I love being a mom? NO. Do I find joy in knowing that being a mom is my divine calling and role? Yes. Do I love little children in general? NO. Do I accept that, and know that not everyone can love teens? Yup! Do I still have days where I want to kill everyone, or would like to run away and join the circus? YUP. But now I remember more often that EVERYONE does, no matter what their life is like. It doesn't mean I HATE being a mom, it just means I am having a bad day and would like to check out of life.
Grade: A-
Goal #4 Be more observant of others and their needs, serve more
I set this goal wanting to be more like a few people that I know that see or hear of someone who is sad, or busy, or lonely, and drop by a gift or their favorite treat, or dinner, or call to chat. I just didn't think of it the way others did, and that's what I wanted.
I spent the whole year thinking that I had gotten no where with this goal, until mid November, when I realized that I had spent the whole year serving my family. I worked to be a happier mom for Andrew & the kids, I spent the first half of the year studying scriptures with Mik, I spent the second half helping Amy prepare for the wedding. Much of the year was spent helping my immediate family, and my siblings. It wasn't what I had expected, but it was service. And in the last month I have found myself seeing opportunities that I wasn't aware of before. I have talked myself out of doing it, telling myself that "someone else has probably beaten me to it", but I am more aware, and will try to start acting. Really.
Grade: A
Goal #5 To attend the Temple more regularly
Since that was the wording of the goal, I'd say that I was successful. We didn't quite make it every month, but we did go at least once during the month, most months. We even were able to do a session in the St. George Temple. We found the best way to accomplish this goal was to set a standing date and time, with a standing babysitter. This will not be a goal next year, I feel it was well accomplished, and we will set our standing date, time, and sitter for the new year.
Grade: A
Goal #6 Lose weight
Ha.
Ha Ha.
But I think I found out why it has been such an issue for me for so long, and a trip to the Dr in a few weeks should confirm my suspicions. I think I have PCOS, which (among other nasty symptoms) is worse because of the extra weight, and which causes me to have extra weight...It's a vicious cycle. So weight loss with be on the docket again, but with a different approach and reason, or at least different motivation.
Grade: D for results, A for finally figuring out why, and maybe what can be done!
Goal #7 Blog Weekly
Well, I didn't completely fail. Definitely didn't do too good in the second half of the year. While I don't think it will be a goal again, I want to try to keep it up next year.
Grade: B.....Okay, maybe that's a little generous....
Goal #8 Finish first draft of a story
Yeah, didn't happen. In fact I discovered that I LOVE writing, and stories, but I like it best when I am storylating with Heather. I like being the writer's sounding board. Maybe someday one of my ideas will make it into a full story, but I think my bigger goal is to help Heather get there with hers!
Grade: D for results, A for self-discovery
Goal #9 Take at least one class of some sort
My real goal here was two-fold: I wanted some sort of personal growth, and I wanted to be forced out of the house without my children, on some sort of regular basis.
I had quite a few experiences this year that fit at least one of those criteria:
-In February I took a 5-week Organ class at church, which I have always wanted to do, and look forward to more opportunities to practice.
-In September I joined the Choralaires, a womens choir of about 50 voices that performs about 2 times a year, and practices 1-2 times a week from Jan to May, and Sept to Dec.
I had planned to quit, because it was often inconvenient with Andrew's schedule, and I felt like it was selfish to haul my kids so I could do it, plus it is a little pricey, and with the plan to get $150 dresses this next fall that is going to get worse... But I really think that it is a worthwhile interest and skill (you know, music), and one 2 hour practice doesn't seem like too much for Mommy's ONE thing. Plus my dad loves coming to hear Janna and I sing in the concert SOO much, he offered to sponsor us financially for whatever part we can't afford, and help with kiddocare when needed.
-In November I decided to make a birthday present for Heather that required skills I didn't have - a colored pencil drawing of Scotney Castle. I had NO idea what I was doing, so I made it up, and learned a lot. I think it turned out awesome, and am excited to keep practicing. (Hey Heather, will you snap a photo and send it to me?)
Grade: A+
Goal #10 Be more productive - less time wasting
Epic fail. Looking back all I remember is laziness, and time wasting. I overcomplicated, tried too hard to plan, and did nothing. This is definitely on the docket for a do-over this year. In simplified form. I hope.
Grade: D Simply because I did try...I made a lot of plans....
So...Final results? Not too bad. I learned a lot, grew a lot, and know more about my strengths and weaknesses. I know what I need to do this year, and I know a lot more about how to go about it. That makes it a success to me. Now I have the data required to make plans for 2012. In a few days I will report on that. :)
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