You ready? Here we go...
1. I'm trying to lose weight. Well, let's be a little more concise here. For the umpteenth time I am attempting to battle my hormones into releasing stored fat, by making an effort to make permanent healthy lifestyle changes. I am using MyPlate by Livestrong to track my calories, fat and such. I've done it 4 full days now, and am starting to learn more about what is appropriate portions and balance. I hope in about 3 weeks I will start noticing a little difference, and I hope that by then I will not need to put every bite that goes into my tracker. But I have been pleasantly surprised at what all fits in under my daily goal. It really just comes down to make a few healthier choices, (light sour cream? water down the juice? THAT'S all I get in a serving?) and not going back for seconds. I got really hungry one night, but I was 200 calories under, so in the evening I had half a bowl of Special K, and felt much better. So. Hopefully this works. And I am not going to break my back to exercise, but I am looking for opportunities to be more active, take an extra walk, or whatever.
2. BRA SHOPPING. Stop there if you don't want to know more.
I am well endowed. For years I have been cramming my dolls into a 36 or 38DDD. You know, that's about as big as you can buy. Well, Someone pinned something on pinterest that was a picture of GIANT boobies, (in a bra) and it was all about fitting. I won't link to it here, she was a little vulgar, BUT I found a WORLD of information, and discovered that they do make bras bigger than a DDD. And found out I am most certainly NOT a DDD. In fact I discovered that I am a 34HH, european sizes. That's a 34DDDDDDDDD. 9 D's. I was wearing 6 cup sizes too small. I was a DDD wearing a AA bra. That's graphic. So I marched into the ONE store in Idaho Falls that carries those ginormous bras, and started trying them on. I've learned a LOT. For example: Did you know your straps should only do 10% of the work to hold the weight up? The rest comes from a (very) snug band. It's why corsets worked. Also - You know when you go get "fitted", maybe at Victoria's Secret, and they take your band measurement, and then add 4 inches to get your band size? Oh no you didn't! Take the measurement. THAT is your band size. Anyhow. The gnarly little lingerie shop did not carry a small enough band (apparently when you wear a G or HH, or whatever, you must also wear a 48 band. Ha.). So on the super fun overnight getaway that Janna and Mom and I took at the beginning of May, I made a stop at Nordstroms. $110 later, I had 2 great fitting bras. And far less back pain. And I look skinnier. And clothes fit different, and I am not dying to have a reduction anymore!!!! Life. Changing.
3. I was working on a project (which I may or may not share more about later) on Sunday morning, and did a quick search on Pinterest for "LDS Women". What sad, sad findings.
When I was young, and we talked about the parable of the ten virgins, I had a really hard time believing that the 50% unprepared were church members. Now, as an adult, I see it. Those search results were nearly ALL articles, written and posted by "LDS" folk, but they were filled with comments like "I know there are a lot of things about the church that need to change", or "The church needs to recognize the value of women"...or they taught completely false things....
One of the most prominent articles in my mind discussed how if a wife couldn't giver her husband the satisfaction he needed physically, and they agreed, the best solution may be for him to have other options for getting satisfied, like another woman, or the occasional prostitute. And that's NOT breaking the law of chastity, because it's between the husband and the wife, and he deserves to be fulfilled.
.....
HOW does that work? NO sexual relations except to whom you are legally wed... HOW is that open to interpretation??? So many of the pins were along those lines. "The church is archaic, they need to get with the times, WE need to tell the church how they are wrong, It's OK to interpret the gospel how YOU feel is right, we should be empathetic to the people who are saying these things"....
MY gosh, I might get struck by lightning just for posting these things, even though I do so in abhorrence.
Maybe you are on that side. I'm sorry if you are offended. Maybe I should reiterate my testimony here:
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the ONLY completely true church. It is lead by a prophet of God, who speaks to God, and relays to us what God would have the church do. If the prophet says it, I do it. He will NEVER lead us astray. I DO NOT argue or debate with the the prophet on ANY matter. Many of the hard things we are asked to do are simply a opportunity to learn and demonstrate faith and obedience. I don't care if it make sense, or is fun, or popular. I will strive to obey. No murmuring. That's all.
4. Finally, my hormones.
I just finished the third full month on the pill. I guess I am confused about what we hoped the outcome would be. Sure, I am only bleeding at the appropriate times. My body isn't really given a choice there. I still have hormones, I guess they are a little more level. My acne is maybe a LITTLE bit better. But I dread the thought of living on the pill for the next 25 years. I have not had any change in moodiness, or PMS symptoms. I was afraid they'd get worse, but they haven't.
BUT. Something has changed.
Being a mom is suddenly a happier, easier job. I am more relaxed, I have played with my kids more, and found little ways to be a better mom. Do you know what I think made that change? I think it was because for years I have lived on an edge - Will we have more kids? When will we? Am I going to just get out of diapers, and suddenly have them back? Am I going to plan a trip for next summer, only to cancel because of pregnancy or baby? Do we need to have a car that seats more? A house that sleeps more? How long should I keep trying before I give up? Am I going to give up, and then feel guilty for the rest of my life?
And now those are all resolved. We have a family of 4. One boy, one girl. We can't change that. The baby is 4.5 years old, and we are entering Big Kid years. All those what-ifs, all those game-changing questions are answered. And I am relaxed. I can communicate, reason, and discipline my children. They are becoming more self reliant and independent. And we suddenly have this freedom. And it's good. I still feel sad when I am with my friends with 6-8 person families. I feel sad, and guilty, and a little defensive. But we are good. It feels...almost easy. Yikes.
Now watch me magically get pregnant on the pill. Can't get pregnant off it, but I'll miraculously do it ON the pill.
And that's how we roll.
1. I'm trying to lose weight. Well, let's be a little more concise here. For the umpteenth time I am attempting to battle my hormones into releasing stored fat, by making an effort to make permanent healthy lifestyle changes. I am using MyPlate by Livestrong to track my calories, fat and such. I've done it 4 full days now, and am starting to learn more about what is appropriate portions and balance. I hope in about 3 weeks I will start noticing a little difference, and I hope that by then I will not need to put every bite that goes into my tracker. But I have been pleasantly surprised at what all fits in under my daily goal. It really just comes down to make a few healthier choices, (light sour cream? water down the juice? THAT'S all I get in a serving?) and not going back for seconds. I got really hungry one night, but I was 200 calories under, so in the evening I had half a bowl of Special K, and felt much better. So. Hopefully this works. And I am not going to break my back to exercise, but I am looking for opportunities to be more active, take an extra walk, or whatever.
2. BRA SHOPPING. Stop there if you don't want to know more.
I am well endowed. For years I have been cramming my dolls into a 36 or 38DDD. You know, that's about as big as you can buy. Well, Someone pinned something on pinterest that was a picture of GIANT boobies, (in a bra) and it was all about fitting. I won't link to it here, she was a little vulgar, BUT I found a WORLD of information, and discovered that they do make bras bigger than a DDD. And found out I am most certainly NOT a DDD. In fact I discovered that I am a 34HH, european sizes. That's a 34DDDDDDDDD. 9 D's. I was wearing 6 cup sizes too small. I was a DDD wearing a AA bra. That's graphic. So I marched into the ONE store in Idaho Falls that carries those ginormous bras, and started trying them on. I've learned a LOT. For example: Did you know your straps should only do 10% of the work to hold the weight up? The rest comes from a (very) snug band. It's why corsets worked. Also - You know when you go get "fitted", maybe at Victoria's Secret, and they take your band measurement, and then add 4 inches to get your band size? Oh no you didn't! Take the measurement. THAT is your band size. Anyhow. The gnarly little lingerie shop did not carry a small enough band (apparently when you wear a G or HH, or whatever, you must also wear a 48 band. Ha.). So on the super fun overnight getaway that Janna and Mom and I took at the beginning of May, I made a stop at Nordstroms. $110 later, I had 2 great fitting bras. And far less back pain. And I look skinnier. And clothes fit different, and I am not dying to have a reduction anymore!!!! Life. Changing.
3. I was working on a project (which I may or may not share more about later) on Sunday morning, and did a quick search on Pinterest for "LDS Women". What sad, sad findings.
When I was young, and we talked about the parable of the ten virgins, I had a really hard time believing that the 50% unprepared were church members. Now, as an adult, I see it. Those search results were nearly ALL articles, written and posted by "LDS" folk, but they were filled with comments like "I know there are a lot of things about the church that need to change", or "The church needs to recognize the value of women"...or they taught completely false things....
One of the most prominent articles in my mind discussed how if a wife couldn't giver her husband the satisfaction he needed physically, and they agreed, the best solution may be for him to have other options for getting satisfied, like another woman, or the occasional prostitute. And that's NOT breaking the law of chastity, because it's between the husband and the wife, and he deserves to be fulfilled.
.....
HOW does that work? NO sexual relations except to whom you are legally wed... HOW is that open to interpretation??? So many of the pins were along those lines. "The church is archaic, they need to get with the times, WE need to tell the church how they are wrong, It's OK to interpret the gospel how YOU feel is right, we should be empathetic to the people who are saying these things"....
MY gosh, I might get struck by lightning just for posting these things, even though I do so in abhorrence.
Maybe you are on that side. I'm sorry if you are offended. Maybe I should reiterate my testimony here:
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the ONLY completely true church. It is lead by a prophet of God, who speaks to God, and relays to us what God would have the church do. If the prophet says it, I do it. He will NEVER lead us astray. I DO NOT argue or debate with the the prophet on ANY matter. Many of the hard things we are asked to do are simply a opportunity to learn and demonstrate faith and obedience. I don't care if it make sense, or is fun, or popular. I will strive to obey. No murmuring. That's all.
4. Finally, my hormones.
I just finished the third full month on the pill. I guess I am confused about what we hoped the outcome would be. Sure, I am only bleeding at the appropriate times. My body isn't really given a choice there. I still have hormones, I guess they are a little more level. My acne is maybe a LITTLE bit better. But I dread the thought of living on the pill for the next 25 years. I have not had any change in moodiness, or PMS symptoms. I was afraid they'd get worse, but they haven't.
BUT. Something has changed.
Being a mom is suddenly a happier, easier job. I am more relaxed, I have played with my kids more, and found little ways to be a better mom. Do you know what I think made that change? I think it was because for years I have lived on an edge - Will we have more kids? When will we? Am I going to just get out of diapers, and suddenly have them back? Am I going to plan a trip for next summer, only to cancel because of pregnancy or baby? Do we need to have a car that seats more? A house that sleeps more? How long should I keep trying before I give up? Am I going to give up, and then feel guilty for the rest of my life?
And now those are all resolved. We have a family of 4. One boy, one girl. We can't change that. The baby is 4.5 years old, and we are entering Big Kid years. All those what-ifs, all those game-changing questions are answered. And I am relaxed. I can communicate, reason, and discipline my children. They are becoming more self reliant and independent. And we suddenly have this freedom. And it's good. I still feel sad when I am with my friends with 6-8 person families. I feel sad, and guilty, and a little defensive. But we are good. It feels...almost easy. Yikes.
Now watch me magically get pregnant on the pill. Can't get pregnant off it, but I'll miraculously do it ON the pill.
And that's how we roll.
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